Dear God in Heaven,

I promise I won't ever skip gym for this long again. Please make the pain go away... >.<;;

love,
Panda

In all other news, I believe I am slated into the Dementia unit. W00T!!! *happy dance*

Originally published at Closed Doors.

On New Year's Eve, I sat at home and played WoW, simply because I decided not to go out after all. The last time I was out on New Year's Eve, I was busy avoiding being attacked by bottles, crazed drunk people and was just not enjoying myself in general.

2008 was like a longer version of all that. While my 2008's resolution was all about giving myself a life and taking control, none of it really happened. With my then about 2 months old position of being a manager, it was easy to try and make something of everything.

And while I do spend a big portion of this blog whining about the work i had, and everything else that came along with it, I did like to work and worked real hard at it. The consequence of that all was that I had less time for myself, less time for what I wanted to achieve for myself and virtually no time for a real rest.

By the time World Youth Day came around, even the Pilgrimage itself felt like a release. I didn't have much sleep for over 8 months by then.



2008 wasn't entirely bad though. World Youth Day, with the help of my priest, was one thing that "changed" me. When I walked into the event on that Monday, I felt like I probably won't belong, and sought to be "different" so I could do what I could with my time there.

"get the most out of it, by myself" I thought.

I walked out, entirely humbled by the new friends I made, the new outlook I have on life and definitely feeling less lonely and in control of everything.





I had 2 bunnies die on me this year, and it broke my heart. All at the same time, I am being forced out of the place I rented because my then landlords were douche bags. I say force, because just a couple of months back in 2007, they were saying we could pretty much stay there for 2 years. or more!

On the flip side, my new place is within walking distance of Civic



I got to watch Def Leppard! My first concert ever in my life, and I hope not to be the last.

The other thing that affected me the most this year was my decision to resign from HSPL. There were many different resolutions and lists on this blog that often referred to my resignation from that place to look for something better. I have always been a sucker for routines though, and things that I "know".

So I kept crawling back to the same place that shat on me, made me feel like shit and even sought a position where I get to shoulder all the blame and even became the boss's punching bag.

I finally had enough this time, and looked for something more real and substantial to move out to, only to be slapped with a "firing". This lead to my first attempt, ever, to write a "legal" letter to my employer, seeking for my severance pay. and, I won the argument in such a short amount of time (what, 4 days?) that I really was genuinely surprised.

Then, I found a job that is so appreciative and so caring, that despite it's own work dramas, they are making me feel good right from the start. And I have alot more time to myself now, because I am forced to whether I am done with my work or not (security!).

And so, this leads back to my resolutions, which don't differ much from last year's :p -

1) Get Fit
2) Get Organised
3) go for health checks, and DO CHECK MY BLOOD TEST RESULTS OFTEN!
4) Save more money
5) have more patience
6) relax and enjoy life more.

To everyone who has stood by me, offered advice, for all the love showered upon me or even just reading the amount of stupids I write up, thank you so much for everything.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Happy New Year's everyone!

I made it a quiet one this year, albeit i did watch the fireworks from my backyard with both babies!

Talk more later - Vista crashed like a mad person and I am in the midst of reformatting/re-installing everything :O

Originally published at Closed Doors.

ok, so i disappeared for eons again! hahaha! I guess I should start detailing certain things!



The most important thing that happened over the last few weeks of my absence was... Karma. Karma is current a 10/11 weeks old Female Ferret whom I saw munching on another ferret's ass at the pet shop. It was one of those "godly" moments where I thought this would be the perfect "karma" for Truffle/Meow/Vagina.

Can you imagine? all the times she smacked Fudge's ass when he was alive, she's going to get munched on by a ferret!




When I first bought her though, since ferrets are considered a pest, and Canberra allows it only by controlling the population, I had to get a ferret license. However, to obtain the license itself, the ferret must be paid for first. since the pet shop demanded boarding fees, and the license took at least 7 working days (not to mention all those public holidays in between), by the time Karma came home, she has already cost me a whopping $400.

She is still so adorable though <3

( Work in Canberra )

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Due to some unforeseen red-tape complications, which is utterly understandable, i have nothing to do (annual leave!) for the next week and abit.

Quite frankly, while i was complaining about the amount of free time i had last week, i am at an even bigger loss this week as to what to do. Remember, ever since i was 11, the only real free non-working time i ever had was in the first 2 years of uni. and even then, i worked over summer. and now not even studies? 2 flat weeks of emptiness? /wrist

I got paid out the large amount of $$$ though, and have set aside some money as well as paid off some bills. while i am not broke, until i receive my first pay, i don't want to spend much more. So let's start off with what i have done to my own christmas wishlist!

( recap of wish list )

What i got done today:



( list of done stuff )
I am so much happier now, it is amazing. it's relaxing and it's doing me so much good. i love it, love watching my to-do list whittle down to nothing-ness. :D

Originally published at Closed Doors.

i got a new toy to play with!
( +1 )




yeah i bought myself an iphone. i am beside myself with excitement and am going to all lengths to try and fill it up with stuff. need to reorganize my itunes too, which is currently a mess due to my need to shove everything into a 4gig.

<3

=====================================================================
( Def Leppard concert picts )

we got guitar picks from cheap trick!


p.s can someone tell me, what do I do on my days off? I have never really had a "real day off" which doesn't involve me being too worn out from the whole weekend, much less and entire weekend worth of off days where i am not required to do anything, or not called into work.

halp?

Originally published at Closed Doors.

As stated previously your resignation has regrettably been accepted. With no admission of liability to your claims, your monies owed totalling $1800.00 for your notice given and 32.15 hours @ $19.74 equalling $634.64 will be ready to pick up at H Pty Ltd at 11.30 am on Monday the 1/12/08. This will be paid by way of cheque to a totall of $2343.64. If this time is not suitable you must ring me to arrange a more suitable time.


although he's miscalculated by $300, i guess i should give that a miss now eh. edit: my bad, I can't count, i forgot he's already paid me $400 for last week

i am totally bowled over and shocked that he's given in so quick. perhaps it's because no one wanted to read 6 pages long worth of wall of texts! or perhaps... hq stepped in. considering how he had to cc to hq, i had say that's it.

wow. this has been a heart stopping yet heart warming ride. thanks everyone for your support, love, understanding and listening ears (and eyes!)

net's being cranky, will fill in more asap.


Edit: http://www.ghostelf.com/Public Waambulance.doc ---> the letter of lulz. linking it apparently breaks my codes.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Ok, so because of everything, I didn't really chronicle much else! I did have a life outside of all those stupid work thingies!

( Read more... )

Originally published at Closed Doors.

As everyone hopefully knows, I attempted to hand in my resignation last night, along with 2 weeks' notice, and was not only loudly told to finish up now, and gtfo of his restaurant, I was told all that at least 3 times in front of my peers and customers at work.

This was written up on the management diary/supervisor planner, including the fact that he's told me to never come back, and next week's roster's pretty much written up without me on it anymore.

In protection of my interests, as well as the fact that he owes me 2 weeks' pay (as per my notice), this weeks' pay (since he's fired me despite my intention to work it out) plus the 32.15 hours that he owes me in annual leave - all calculated at $750 per week or $19.73 per hour - I wrote up an email detailing the circumstances surrounding my resignation and therefore my termination of work last night which resulted from me giving my notice.

This email was then forwarded on to HQ and my boss, firstly to make sure i have more witnesses to my resignation than my current work place, since i don't like putting people's jobs on the line.

He then responded with this

Your failure to appear for work on Friday the 21/11/08 leads me to believe that you misunderstood our last conversation. At no point did i tell you your services were not required. This letter is to inform you that your roster is written up to and including the 21/12/08. Your resignation has regrettably been accepted and your last shift is set down to be Saturday the 6/12/08., as per your letter of resignation. Failure to appear for your next shift starting at 4pm on Saturrday the 22/11/08 will leed us to believe after the contents of your letter and your failure to appear on Friday the 21/11/08 that you have forfeited your position here thus forfeiting your two weeks pay. Please be aware that this may be with held from your accrued monies, as per the certified agreement.

While gleefully telling someone he's never going to pay me out.

I am sorry, but I find it hard to misconstrue "finish up now", "get the fuck out of my restaurant!" especially with the number of people there, the atmosphere and attitude he was using plus what was written in the management diary thereafter. Of course, he can always "delete" away the evidence on the management planner.

Further more, I was meant to be on a split shift today. I should have started at 11a.m, and Waife brought in my uniforms (so that I would be paid out) as a sign of acknowledgment that I have been fired. No one's made a single voice of concern about why am I not working, until the email which he read at 8p.m.

Come on, no one's stupid. it doesn't take you 9 hours to realise that an employee hasn't turned up to work. He attempted to call and intimidate me into not asking for my severance payout, of which i didn't pick up as I was asleep.

He's also voiced out to someone that he "didn't know it would come to this! If i had known, I would have let her work out those fucking 2 weeks." Sorry, it ain't my fault you don't know the laws of your land. Fact is, I did my research before I handed in my notice, going so far as to work out a new time table with my new employer so that I could fully work out those 2 weeks despite knowing my boss might be an ass to work for during those 2 weeks.

However, he told me to finish up, get out, don't come back. With someone yelling at you while you are trying to talk and hand in your notice, and with him insisting that I have to leave, was I about to stay?

He's now made it a hostile environment to me, so either ways, I am not returning.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

for people not in the know,

i handed in my 2 weeks' notice tonight, both verbally and typed on a letter, last date of work was to be on 6th of December. He not only didn't care to read it, he told me to just finish up tonight and go. Started calling everyone, "hey everybody, cheryl's handed in her notice" and told me to get out of his restaurant.

so i walked.

i think i am entitled to a bunch of things this week, eh? lotsa karma rain please thanks.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Part of my waitressing job (and even into my management days) was to communicate with customers. I have always been a firmed believer of "listen to what they say, absorb what they have to show", and so I have sat through stories of tears and happiness, of curiosity and of pure hate or love. I have always felt honored to be a part of someone's life in such a way.

I mean, they didn't have to, but they did. And in return, when they ask, I honestly shared about myself, my life and my opinions. I have seen marriages break up, have heard of reconciliations, of proposals, of pregnancies, miscarriages, births and deaths and together I shared with them my tears, my laughter and honest comfort.

Today, as I wandered through the mall, for the first time lost in wondering what can I possibly do, I heard a call. They were a group of regular customers with a new friend. They waved me over and we sat down to lunch, one of them even offered me a drink. And then they asked me how i was.

For some reason, I suddenly felt like tearing. these were the people I met due to my work. I was treated like an old friend, a stranger that isn't a stranger anymore.

They noticed my reaction though, and suddenly asked if work was treating me well. The few moments that they have seen me through out the last couple of weeks seemed to have made them wondered if work was not treating me good... so i spilled the beans.

(not professional... but hey! they told me their sex lives!)

It is funny how they comforted me, and got all mad on my behalf. They waved their fists, swear in the weirdest way I have ever heard anyone sworn and then we started talking about our lives, just like friends do.

Of course, today brought its own surprises - the people who cared went beyond the boundaries of friends and regular customers. there were people whom I thought had rejoice and laugh at my downfall in glee, but whom (from what i have heard) turned out to be utterly disgusted....

Maybe, just maybe, I am not that bad after all ^_^v

Originally published at Closed Doors.

The thing about work politics is, they are everywhere. One can't avoid them nor can one be out of circle it encompasses for too long. Furthermore, there is only so much one can win or lose that many times in it that one can still come out of it somewhat unscathed.

I have always told everyone, no one's irreplaceable, not me, nor the even the boss himself. I don't think people understood or will find it hard to understand even now.

( Read more... )

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Actewagl popped by next door to "fix" the electricity. Unfortunately, that also equates them shutting down the electricity without prior notice. I think, somehow, that broke my internet. So for now, I am quite inaccessible (and really hot and bothered).

Now that I have calmed down a little, I have more time to answer your questions in a more "logical" manner.

How advanced is your diabetes

Frankly, she-who-told-me doesn't really know. The blood tests were a year old, and also it was just a general blood test. All she knows at this point is 1) it's genetic and 2) I do have diabetes. Since the queue for further blood tests, as well as to see a cardiologist, is approximately 2 months long, we won't know in the mean time.

She did suggest that I start on a diabetic diet right now. Short of visiting a dietitian, I really have no clue what a diabetic diet consist of. My own Granny turned vegetarian upon the knowledge that she is a diabetic.

are you on any medication?

no. Firstly, since I appear to have allergies that I am unaware of, she is not too keen to start me on anything. Secondly, since, as per above, we don't know how advanced I am, she does not want to "pre-emp" too much and then perhaps harm me more than she intends to.

are you going to go home?

no. what for? either ways i am still going to be diabetic o.o

If nothing's conclusive, wth are you going crazy for?!?!

because I have seen my grandma at her worst? what's wrong with you people!?!?


In all other perspectives though, looking at the "diabetic food pyramid" that I have found from various health boards, I have come to realise that it's really no big difference from a good healthy meal recommendations anyways.

so perhaps this is God's way of saying, "pull your fucking head in and treasure yourself". heh.

Further down that same road, my mind's been exploding with all kinds of "but I haven't done ...... yet". There's so many things I want to do, but I have been putting them off for various reasons, like money, or time, or school, or fear. Now, I know I ain't on death bed yet but... really.

Every time I get scared of dying, I thought of the same things. So I guess I have to get my arse cracking eh?

I am going to get my private pilot license next year

yeah, screw death!

Originally published at Closed Doors.

I walked the streets today in the rain, musing over the sounds being emitted by the cars, smelling the horrible fumes the emit, listening to random conversations, watching the facial expressions of two friends arguing between themselves.

When I came here a few years ago, I lived on boiled water, theorizing like my parents did that boiled water can only be better for you. More hygienic. As time passed, just a matter of months in fact, my utter discipline started crumbling as I allowed myself to feed of Sprite as much as I want.

The sprite here is different, compared to the ones in Singapore. They were more... tangy. The taste is alive: it burst on your lips, frolics playfully on the tip of your tongue then slowly sizzle off down the back of your palate.

A year ago, I visited the doctors for allergic reactions and my asthma. I was instead sent on rounds of blood tests and more tests. Some bad news were broken to me... but there were more results from the tests that never came back while I was still there.

I could have guessed, from the battery of tests they chucked me through. From the suggestions. From the fact that I am taking longer and longer to recover from one illness to another.. in fact, just from the amount of illness I have been finding myself in constantly. I have never been so constantly sick in my life.

I guess, I never wanted to hear it, never want to realize it.

Three weeks ago, Grandma was warded in the hospital. Diabetes is slowly but surely killing her this time. It's been long in coming, but she sure has way outlived their "2 years left" prediction. She's been fighting it for the last 12 years since then. I didn't dare ask... how many of my Aunts might be diabetic?

Today, as I stare at the streets, watching, learning, hearing... I let the truth sink in.

Again, I visited the doctors' for my asthma and pollen-induced allergies. This time, there's no more tests, at least not right now. This time, I know.

"You're a diabetic, and you've high blood pressure."

Suddenly, everything's no longer bright and colorful. Nothing's funny anymore. It's all gray. Gray as the crying skies, gray as the ugly fumes, gray as the public servants in their stupid suits.

Time to let Dad know.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Tried to tidy up the desk, cat came and ran it all over. I give up, going to leave everything as it is. it looks damn artistic.

In all other news, I am watching Clannad, Toradora, Yokazura Quartet and extremely tired but insomniac since 3 am last night. Thank God Jayse is coming to Australia tomorrow.

( Read more... )

Originally published at Closed Doors.

yet again, I wonder about the future. I am tempted to do a side diploma of sorts, towards something I can do a... hands on approach about things. There are plenty of restrictions though, seeing that I am not a resident here, and obviously money doesn't drop from the skies.

But If i can... IF i can... sigh.

anyways, I signed up for Nanowrimo this year. 2 years after my original signed up. I think I wrote no more than a page's worth the last time. I hope to do more this year, lol. I can come up with all kinds of excuses why I didn't write it up, but the truth is I was too lazy to really care i guess.

What's going to make it different this year?

The fact that I really have nothing else to do otherwise. Yes, leaving school essentially means NOTHING to do for the longest time. It's scary to be faced with that, and job hunting sounds surreal. I have never really imagined my life without my studies, so... to really leave school and have no more exams to look forward to?

damn.

I don't want to come away and live the rest of my life in a cubicle though. I have downloaded/bought some language tapes to start off/continue with (German, Spanish and Japanese came to mind). And somewhere along the line, I might go "finish" my first aid course. Some eons ago, I went for first aid classes. The last class was CPR. I was only, what, 17. I refused to be caught dead "kissing" a fucking dummy.

so I never turned up for it.

so 10 years on, I am trying to look for places where I can attend first aid classes. I am kind of lost, but i think I can only learn them at CIT or community evening colleges or something. made me wonder why the hell i was so stupid hahaha...

Don't get me wrong though, I am looking forward to "growing up" finally. 6 years on, and life's going to be moving elsewhere, in a sense.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

got tickets for dragonforce in Sydney. October 28th. for waife and me.

Waife never planned for a replacement for wednesday morning, also didn't expect Baz to have a gambied leg just the week before we planned to go. Now with his resignation on the files, it is highly likely that he wouldn't be looked kindly upon asking for time off. not to mention he's have had 2 days off sick without medical certification.

yeah, act like a fucking brat. yeah he was sick, without documentary proof, anyone can look and act sick. just because you have great track record doesn't really mean jack shit.

and so no more concert for me.

i was so fucking looking forward to this.

i hate this.

Originally published at Closed Doors.

some random updates.



The fire next door was quelled, about 1.5 - 2 hours after it started. we didn't nose around to ask what happened, but it's not hard to guess considering the amount of damage done to parts of the house. the insurance guys came around, as well as, i guess, the landlord. as of this moment, they are all gated up now but no one seems to be harmed.

i think a large part of me almost feared for my life, but i didn't know what to do. i wanted to save my cat and my bunny, and it was the only thing that ran through my head, because i assumed, from the one glance, that it was our house.
( Read more... )

Originally published at Closed Doors.

Handed in my migration paperwork yesterday. heaved alot of sighs. one for the amount of money i am spending on it, two for the fact that i was utterly relieved. despite the fact that it's at least 8 months before i get to hear any response on it, it is still a huge sense of relief.

one might ask, why leave singapore, why be part of Australia? why Australia anyways?

As i have said before, and I will say it again: I feel more comfortable here, and "at home" here, than i have ever felt back "home". Other than family and friends, I hated many aspects of Singapore. this is not because I am high and mighty about myself, or gave up on Singapore. It's like a relationship between a parent and a child.

There will always be love, but a close relationship can sometimes be hardly possible due to many factors.

I hated the kiasu-ism that digs deep into the corner of every aspect of our lives. From the stupids who won't give up their seats to the elderly and pregnant on the bus/trains/queues, to those who were blatantly rich and yet were the first few people queuing up for a free cake (which they were entitled to because they were USING THEIR PLATINUM CARDS) - AND yet were not satisfied when they couldn't obtain more than 1.

There's still lots of good about Singapore though, and this is not a "bash Singapore" post. I am glad that I am moving on (or starting to) move on to the next stage of my life, and it will possibly involve Australia. ^^

Originally published at Closed Doors.